Loudoun Family Now Accepting Northrop-Style Financial Incentive Bids for Headquarters Relocation
We’re pleased to announce at this time that our family will be accepting Family and Small Business Headquarters Relocation Financial Incentive Bids from DC Metro, Northern Virginia and Suburban/Southern Maryland jurisdictions. Tax subsidies, grants and other benefits may reflect those now being offered to Northrop Grumman to relocate its headquarters to the area, though are expected to be comparatively greater, due mainly to the much higher relative value gained by relocating (or retaining with improvements) our family members, associates and stakeholders, rapidly-growing small business, and associated relationship and community assets.
Our family and small business corporate leadership is seeking bids at this time, due to many factors - including rapidly aging headquarters facilities and fully-depreciated assets, the need to reduce corporate leadership risk, negative health profiles and commute expenses (due to daily inbound DC commute), the need for extensive improvement in continuing and accelerated Primary education and team recreation opportunities, the need for better access to “offline” social collaborative obligations, venues and amenities directly related to our small business development activities, the need to reduce our tax burdens not directly reflected in productive benefits to our organization, the need for more stable and reliable telecommunications and power grid services, the need for a more small business-friendly political representation at both a local and regional level, the need to reduce our overall carbon footprint and contribute more directly to satisfying environmental preservation initiatives, the need for improved variety and quality in family-oriented dining and entertainment venues, and the need for physical proximity to a real German deli and bakery.
Benefits to the successful bidder range from significant enhancement of location-specific Internet business and community profiles and associated online commerce, to solid contributions to the quality of educational, athletic and community service/nonprofit initiatives in the form of family member participation, leadership and investment. “Long-tail” benefits include heavy marketing and active professional and social “pull” of similarly-inclined and valuable family/small-business units into the same jurisdiction. Benefits also include very significant contributions to local employment (in the woman-owned, local small business category), local economic development/recovery assistance and taxable income generation, and dramatic reduction in local energy and utilities consumption (we are a "Green" company). Introduction of additional methane-producing livestock is not anticipated, and direct advertising support for the successful bidder and their political representation is negotiable (prominently displayed on personal attire, yard signs, websites, bumper stickers, etc.).
Successful bids will include an aggressive, timely and comprehensive package containing real property tax abatement applied to either a lease or purchase, a grant covering a wide range of relocation costs, including those for predevelopment services (such as architecture and engineering for a build-out), tenant improvements, furniture, equipment (both residential and business), leased transportation (should include water-based), facility, laundering and grounds maintenance, technological upgrades, relevant local business leads and partnership opportunities, construction and any other relocation costs required by this expected mixed-use property. Locations considered will fall outside the generally-accepted eastward-oriented radioactive and biologic contamination fallout zones. Successful bidders will also offer location-based amenities, including proximity to premiere academic institutions (i.e. nationally-recognized), a location that doesn’t require utilization of Rt. 66 or the Beltway for any business-hours reason, ever, and of course walking or rapid-delivery service from a great German (or otherwise tasty European-style) deli/bakery.
Bidding is now open, please provide references. Incumbents are encouraged to apply (this means you, Dulles South); U.S. or WHTI jurisdictions outside the DC Metro area with local, outdoor flora that includes native palm trees are also most welcome to apply.